Episode Description:
In this episode, Claire dives headfirst into a topic that feels especially timely in a chaotic world and unpredictable industry: the craving for certainty. What if you need to know how something will turn out before you take the risk? What if uncertainty keeps you frozen, anxious, or constantly second-guessing your choices?
With equal parts humor and wisdom (and a little sleep deprivation), Claire explores how our brains seek certainty for safety, how this impulse shows up differently for each Enneagram type, and how clinging to certainty can actually keep us stuck. She offers a powerful mindset shift that helps authors stop grasping for guarantees and start building confidence in their own resilience.
If you've ever thought, “If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what I’ll do,” this episode gives you practical tools to turn that fear into forward momentum.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why certainty is so alluring—and how it tricks us into playing small
How each Enneagram type tends to seek certainty in their creative work
The danger of mistaking plans or perfectionism for actual security
What a “toolbox” of internal resources is, and how to build yours
How to shift your mindset from “I need this to work” to “I’ll figure it out either way”
Why failure hurts—but doesn’t have to stop you
How your rebounding process can become a source of self-respect
Takeaway Challenge:
Inventory your “toolbox.” What inner resources, skills, support systems, and past experiences remind you that you’ve handled hard things before? Add to it regularly. Confidence doesn’t come from knowing the future—it comes from trusting that you’ll know what to do when the future arrives.
Support the Show:
If this episode helped you see uncertainty in a new light, please consider leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform and sharing it with your author friends. Want more guidance? Visit liberatedwriter.com to explore Claire’s coaching, courses, and books for authors navigating the wild world of publishing with purpose.
Happy writing—and yes, you can handle the bad parts.
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If For Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer.
All my services, courses and books for authors can be found@liberatedwriter.com. Go check it out. If you're curious about how you can build a more sustainable author career in uncertain times. Now, I had to double check that I haven't already done an episode on today's topic because it seems so appropriate for these uncertain times.
But no, I haven't covered it before, or at least not this directly. I'm gonna tackle it Head on today though, and leave you with some tools for each time you notice you're struggling with it. So in this episode, I ask the question, what if I need more certainty? Short answer. Well too fucking bad. End of episodes.
See you next week. Uh, no. I should warn you, I woke up at three 30 this morning [00:01:00] and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm a little punchy today. Maybe it'll lean more toward fun than annoying, but we will see. Anyway, that's not the short answer, but it kind of is. So let's go into the long answer certainty.
We love to have it, but seeking it is a big old trap, and here is what I mean. I would love to have certainty that I'm gonna make a million dollars this year. I would hate to have certainty that my house is gonna burn down this year, and nothing I do will keep that from happening. Yikes to that one. So certainty.
Not always good. If I were certain about my house burning down, I'd be calling my homeowners insurance every day. Uh, just to make sure we were up to date, it would probably preoccupy most of my thoughts coming up with lists of, you know, how do I prepare for this and so on. Catalog everything I own.
Smoke detectors every three feet [00:02:00] of ceiling and wall space. Never leave the dogs home alone. And I reckon I wouldn't get much sleep. So, yeah, not all certainty is created equal. We know this. I'm just spelling it out just to get us started a little warm up. But I think it's important to remember that not all certainty is created equal as we continue this conversation because to particular parts of our brain.
All certainty is better than uncertainty. There's not much discrimination happening there until we bring our critical thinking online, which is what we do in these episodes. As humans, we crave certainty because certainty can bring a sense of physical safety. I'm sure this new pen name will sell well. So now I can focus on the writing, except what if it doesn't work?
Physical safety, yes. Financial safety, social safety, all lead to physical safety for social species. Or maybe it looks like, I'm sure my author friends will say yes when [00:03:00] I ask if they'll send out an email about my sale. Except what if they reject me and hate me for asking for too much? Ah, doubt. Always getting in the way of certainty.
So we want certainty in part so that we can shift our attention to other concerns, and we do all kinds of things to try to guarantee that. So maybe just pause for a second. You could actually, literally pause this podcast if you want, um, and consider the things that you do to try to gain certainty about outcomes in your author business and in your life.
Maybe it looks like being on every social media platform, hoping that it creates a guarantee of your books taking off. This has to work, right? Maybe it's so many revision passes on a book that you exhaust yourself trying to be certain that there are no mistakes in it. Or maybe it's hours of endless tangential research for your book that you never end up using simply to try to feel certain that [00:04:00] you won't come off looking foolish or ignorant.
One weird thing we do when our tolerance for uncertainty is especially low, simply meaning that we haven't done much work around it. To build up that tolerance that we'd prefer to have an unpleasant but certain outcome rather than leaving room for an uncertain.
But possibly positive outcome. I know that's weird. We all do it because certainty is so important to us. Yes, I do it too, right? This is just the default of how our brain works, and this is why bringing awareness to it, this mindfulness can be so beneficial. So this preference for the certain but unfortunate thing often looks like the thought, eh, that won't work.
Or this is going to fail. Sometimes it looks like nobody wants to help me. We all have these go-to foregone conclusions that keep us stuck and miserable in one way or another, simply to avoid the discomfort [00:05:00] of uncertain outcomes. If you never try, you are certain not to succeed. But that means you are certain not to succeed, right?
So, uh, downside. So each Enneagram type seeks certainty to avoid the pain of our core fear or missing out on our core desire. When we seek but cannot find the level of certainty we're craving, we can get really stuck.
So the type one, the reformer wants to know they're doing the right or good thing before they do it, and ideally that it will be interpreted by others. As such, the two, the helper wants to know they're doing the loving and generous thing before they do it, and ideally that it will be appreciated by others as such.
The three, the achiever wants to know they're doing the most effective thing and ideally that it will lead to praise and admiration.
The four. The [00:06:00] individualist wants to know that what they're doing is unique and meaningful, and ideally that it will be recognized as such. The five, the investigator wants to know they're doing the smartest or wisest thing, and ideally that it won't make them look ignorant or lead to ridicule.
The sixth. The loyalist wants to know that what they're doing is safe, and ideally that none of the worst case scenarios will come to pass the seven. The enthusiast wants to know that what they're doing will continue to be fun and optional, and ideally that they won't get stuck in the commitment beyond it being enjoyable.
The eight, the Challenger wants to know that what they're doing will. Bend to their will that they have control over it. And ideally the others will respect that. The nine wants to know that what they're doing won't rock the boat and ideally that everyone will support it without friction. So there's a little variation with each type as there always is, [00:07:00] but you can see how each type is looking for certainty in different ways.
The problem with the above descriptions and our search for certainty in general is when we start seeking certainty in the results of. Anything. That's when the problems arise. There's no certainty in the future, none. We've always lived in uncertain times. When you take a step back, the fact that some people took sanity and decency for granted, assuming it was certain, no matter what is arguably why these times are particularly fucking nuts.
Nothing is a given. The more we expect there to be certainty waiting for us in the future. The farther into an endless trap we wander. It's like drinking salt water. It doesn't actually quench your thirst. It doesn't hydrate you.
When I talk about looking for certainty of external results, I mean looking for ways to control anything outside of ourselves to [00:08:00] ensure that what we want to happen will happen, or maybe even that what we don't want to happen will happen if we don't believe the other option is on the table, right? This could be certainty.
This could be uncertainty about whether your collaboration partner is thinking of abandoning the project, so you end it with them first certainty achieved. You don't actually want the collaboration to end, but you'd rather feel in control of that negative outcome than be uncertain about the outcome altogether.
This is a thing that happens for sure. Right? Dump them before they dump you. You may not know that they're gonna dump you, but you're unsure. Now caveat, when I warn you about the dangers of seeking external certainty, what I'm not saying is that it's bad to create a plan. Plans are great. I love a good plan myself, but if your plan requires everything to go a particular way [00:09:00] and doesn't allow for flexibility, as those uncertain elements unfold one way or another.
Then your plan was in and of itself, just another trick to make you feel like you have certainty where you don't.
I'm also not saying that you shouldn't expect things from people or hold them accountable for commitments they make. If your editor says She'll have the manuscript to you by a particular day and she doesn't, you can still hold her accountable for whatever damages you might incur as a result, assuming you have that in the contract, right?
Contracts are a great tool to, try to get closer to certainty. Or you can decide not to use her again and look for someone who will do what they say on the timeline they say, or who you suspect will. Or maybe it's not a big deal and this is a one-time thing for her, and you're able to make some adjustments and just let it go.
Either way. Not grasping for external control through promises of certainty is not the same thing as failing [00:10:00] to hold people responsible. For their broken commitments to you.
So what are we supposed to do about this craving of ours for certainty that drives us a little bit up the wall and it is a craving. Now there's a big mindset switch we can make that will keep us from walking into the same trap over and over again, and that gives us peace of mind when it comes time to make decisions for our business.
The mindset switch looks like this. You stop groping for certainty of external results and shift your attention to all of the tools and resources you have at your disposal to deal with whatever outcome occurs.
So instead of trying to create certainty that your next book launch will earn out within the first week, do what you can to position your book for that outcome. Not so much that it sacrifices your health or relationships, hopefully. And then take a moment to remember all the tools you have at your disposal to respond to the [00:11:00] outcome of the launch.
What kind of tools you ask Claire, are we talking about a million bucks? Are we talking about a magic wand that we can wave to make the book go up in the rings? No, very simple tools. Here are some. Your ability to calm yourself, to create clear thinking. That's a tool. Your ability to ask for help from people who can offer it.
Your ability to know how to find the information you need to positively influence the situation. Your resilience, your self-compassion, your knowledge of how best you rest your friends outside of the industry who feel the same way about you, whether your launch succeeds or not, because they don't know the difference.
Your exercise routine, your sense of humor, your curiosity, your research skills, your analytical skills, your therapist, your memories of all the times things didn't work out, and you found a way forward anyway. The number of tools you can collect for this toolbox is [00:12:00] virtually endless, but unless you make a practice of inventorying what's in there and developing a wide array of tools, you're gonna feel the pressure of needing everything to turn out well.
You're gonna feel the craving for a certainty of outcome.
I know that feeling can be a little bit of, if this doesn't work out. I don't know what I'll do, but when you practice shifting your attention back to your toolbox, that thought becomes, if this doesn't work out, then the next thing I'll try is X, and then I'll probably be okay.
When things don't work out the way we hoped, yeah, it hurts, it's gonna hurt, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to tolerate the pain.
Sometimes I have clients come see me right in the middle of a big shit show. Right. Welcome to the shit show. I'm, I'm always glad that they called me in, but they feel ashamed at having been knocked on their ass and still being on their ass. They feel like they shouldn't be affected [00:13:00] by the undesired outcomes.
I am here to tell you that it's completely normal to be affected by poor outcomes. Some of the most resilient and dogged people I know experienced that. The low point is part of your process of resilience, and that's okay. Let it be part of the process. There's no shame in just taking a second to lick your wounds if that's what you need.
Give yourself a little bit of time when the wind gets knocked out of you to recover before you force yourself to your feet.
If you recognize that you're at this low point, do what you can to observe this part of the process, because it's just a part of the process.
I'll sometimes tell myself in times like these, when I'm deep in the disappointment, shock, sadness, or embarrassment, I'll say, Claire, this is the bad part. I am in it. Here I am. This is the bad part. When I'm [00:14:00] able to observe that, it sort of takes the sting out of it. Like, yeah, of course there are bad parts of life.
It can't all be good parts. Who said it would all be good parts? Right? And look at me sitting here surviving. The bad part, I'm in it. It hasn't taken me out. Now I use good and bad to describe it when I'm at this point, because usually we're thinking in binary terms when we're this low, so it feels accessible to think about it being just bad, whatever bad means for you.
We all know good and bad almost as soon as I'm able to label the bad part, I'm able to bring my brain online to think about how to move forward. So this is the bad part, but. It doesn't last forever. I know that it's part of the process of taking risks. Sometimes you hit bad parts on the way to the good parts, and one thing I know is that it's only during the bad parts when I have an opportunity to cultivate my self-respect.
It's easy to be kind and generous and a loyal friend during the good [00:15:00] parts. It's a cinch to put your wellbeing practices into motion when you're living through the good parts.
But if I can cook myself one healthy meal when I'm in the bad part, if I can put my shoes on and go to the gym when I'm in the bad part, if I can still offer help to a friend when I'm in the bad part, those are the moments that make me respect myself on a deep level, and those are the things that build my confidence.
That I can handle the bad parts, and when I know I can handle the bad parts that they're just parts not a verdict or the whole story, then I can sit with uncertainty of results much, much more gracefully and without letting it stop me my tracks or prompt me to act listly
now. Maybe you're thinking, I don't have many of those tools in my toolbox, Claire, am I screwed? And no you're not. First off, I bet you have more tools than you even recognize. So [00:16:00] take some time if you can, to sit down and, and inventory that toolbox. Think back to the times when things worked out incredibly poorly and what you use to get back on track, right?
They don't all have to be a hundred percent healthy. To be important tools, right? Sometimes eating a piece of cake is part of getting back to the good part. It really is, right? We don't want to eat all cake all the time, right? But sometimes that's a part of it. So don't judge the tools. Just look at the tools of evaluate.
What are they now, you might cringe when you look back on this history wishing you'd rebounded more quickly or hadn't acted in certain ways along the process, and that's normal. Okay, that's normal. You may feel regret. Regret is a powerful emotion for helping us see what we'd like to do differently, which is a necessary step to learning how to do it differently as long as we don't.
Take regret as an opportunity to beat ourselves [00:17:00] up, which only adds to our craving for certainty so that we don't, you know, make the same mistakes again, then, then we're good. We're using it as an emotion, as it's intended to be used for change, possibly even to inspire repair attempts with others if needed, but regret's not.
open door for self-flagellation.
Now what you're probably more likely to find as you look back over your life is a natural process of rebounding that emerges. So ask. How long do you usually stay down? Do you need to feel your feelings before getting back up and trying something new? Does an hour in bed with the covers over your head help, or does it cause you to spiral more?
How quickly do you reach out for help from others, even if it's just a rant? Does that help? What keeps you from doing it sooner? If it helps? When things don't work out the way you'd hoped, do you tend to throw good money after bad? If so, what steps could you add to this process through reminders or [00:18:00] accountability with those around you to avoid doing that next time?
So we start with the raw material of the process that you generally follow, and then we ask what parts of it are necessary. And I'll just be honest and say that. On those occasions when the shit storm hits from like 10 directions at once, which we've all experienced, I'm sure I need like a full day in bed throwing a pity party.
I have to feel my emotions and get absolutely sick of 'em before that little spark of impatience gets me formulating a plan again. So my husband's witnessed this part of the process probably a dozen times over the 13 or so years we've been together and he knows what to do, which is just let me move through it.
Maybe bring me a glass of water. I rebound, right? It's not pleasant to be in the bad part, but I rebound and my husband and I both know that. And over the years, my [00:19:00] rebounding time has gotten much shorter. I can mope for a day or an afternoon and then be back at the desk the next morning, just sort of poking around at some new idea.
Or maybe I'm not at the desk, maybe I recognize that what I need is a few days off to spend time in nature, catch up with friends, read a good book. One of the great things about being an author is that it's rare, and I mean rare, that we can't take a couple of days off to recalibrate. If you feel like you never have that time, then maybe audit your schedule a little bit and ask if that's true or if you might be packing your schedule out of fear or to avoid emotions rather than because it's strictly necessary.
I also have the added benefit of being married to law enforcement, and that gives me perspective about what's really urgent and what's made up urgent. So most things in life are made up urgent unless there's a tourniquet involved. You have the time to take a few [00:20:00] deep breaths, feel a feeling you're avoiding or ask a friend to offer a new perspective and help you see what you haven't been seeing.
So I feel like that's all good news. I mean, the reality is that there's gonna be bad parts, but that also means there's gonna be good parts. And when you look back at your life, you know how to get through, right? That's good news. You don't need certainty, which is fantastic because you don't get it no certainty for you.
Oh, and one of the benefits of practicing this mindset shift away from seeking certainty, craving it, is that you're gonna notice much more quickly when an industry expert is using a promise of certainty or a hint at it, and your anxiety manipulating your anxiety around uncertainty to sell you something.
Right. Sell a hundred thousand copies in Nope, nope. Manifest your Million Dollar Career with, Nope. [00:21:00] Nope, not doing that. The Secrets of New York Times bestsellers are not, today's Satan. We're not doing it.
You now know why my marketing isn't as instantly effective as some other folks, and why I'll never get rich off this cake. , let me show you some daily practices and principles that will help you face your fears and support you in making the career decisions that could build the life and wellbeing you deserve.
Yeah, that's not as sexy as promising you certainty of external results. You know, maybe a given timeframe. It's, it's not, it's not a sexy pitch that I'm working from here. , unfortunately.
Well, you know, even if I did make those promises, I suppose there's no certainty I would make a lot of money off it. Right. Maybe I can just let it go. So if you're wondering what if I need more certainty, I will offer this. You never had it, not the way we each crave. [00:22:00] What you can build over time, and if you're mindful, is confidence in your ability to know what to do or how to figure out what to do regardless of the external outcome of your efforts.
It's impossible. It's impossible. To prepare for every outcome. And thankfully, sixes, you don't need to. You just need to keep learning about yourself, what your process looks like when you do hit the bad part, how you bounce back and what tools are in your toolbox.
If you need some more tools, there are ways to develop them. So when your attention flows toward. The need to have a certain outcome rather than grasping at imaginary certainty, you'll find that you don't worry yourself so much with needing the outcome to be one thing or another. Your ability to sit in uncertainty without getting fidgety or frozen, it'll grow.
It'll increase more and more. And if you keep [00:23:00] practicing this mindset shift, shifting your attention intentionally toward what is in your toolbox. You'll stop noticing the uncertainty so much.
This frees you up tremendously to take modest risks, to pick a path and give it a shot. You won't know until you try and you might not try if you're waiting around for certainty to ride in on a white horse. Remind yourself of all the resources you have to get back up when you fall, and the opportunity to build respect for yourself and to show love rather than judgment for yourself when you hit the bad parts.
If you still crave certainty, I'll give you this little nugget. You will hit the bad parts, that's certain, and you'll also experience the good parts. That's also certain. Done some bad parts, done some good parts, maybe some average parts in there, maybe mostly average parts, frankly, and you can [00:24:00] navigate it all.
You don't have to be able to see the future. You can navigate it. You already have, you've navigated it to this moment,
so you don't need certainty because you will know what to do.
And if you don't know what to do, you'll know who to ask. So that's it for this week's episode of What If for Authors. Thanks for joining me. If you wanna support the show, keep listening, leave a review and tell an author friend about it. I also have books you can buy, coaching courses. All of it is designed to support you in this uncertain industry, in these uncertain times.
You can go to liberated writer.com to poke around on all my offerings. I'm Claire Taylor and I hope you'll join me for the next episode. In the meantime, I'll have to tolerate the uncertainty of whether or not you will. Happy writing.