You just completed the final touches on your latest novel and pressed publish. If your friend had just accomplished this, you’d be telling them to take a moment to celebrate, buy themselves a nice meal, take a nap.
But not you. Because for you, this is only the first book of a new series. Now you need to write two more before you start putting money into marketing.
Okay, so you do that, and you hit all your crazy deadlines in the meantime. Now it’s time to rest and—
But you haven’t made your money back yet. You need to break even before you can even think about celebrating.
So you do that. You break even in record time because you’re quite skilled at this whole indie publishing process.
But… break even? You’re supposed to celebrate not losing money? That’s ridiculous. On to the next book. Maybe at fifty books into your catalogue you’ll have something to celebrate. But not now.
This is what we call “moving the goal posts.” And if it sounds exhausting to you, that’s because it is. However, if you’re an Enneagram Type 3, you’re probably wondering, “How else am I supposed to reach success?”
Welcome back to this series where we explore what motivates us and how we might build a life that works with our creative impulses rather than against them. To read the previous entries, go here: www.ffs.media/story-tips/category/Motivation+series
Today, we’re talking all about the Enneagram Three, “the Achiever.” We’re going to dive deep into what motivates someone with these core fears and desires, and how we can build a nice little author life for ourselves if this is our type.
If this isn’t your type, I strongly suggest you read it anyway. Not only will it help you write strong Achiever characters, but I guarantee you have a Three close to you in your life, and understanding them will only strengthen the relationship.
At their core, Threes’ desire is to have worth. Their fear is that they’re worthless. The concept of value is central to what makes Threes tick (and tick and tick and tick until the other types are like, “Give it a rest, already!”).
Indie publishing is FULL of what many people would call “successful” Threes. Seriously, they’re everywhere. Any speaking gig or gathering where the stipulation for entry is raw sales numbers, you’ll find chock-full of Achievers. Some of whom are absolutely miserable and have no idea.
That’s because Threes are built to thrive in whatever structure you drop them in. They are incredibly resourceful by nature. Whereas Twos can sense what others need from them, Threes have an unmatched ability to sense what others want from them. And then they have the work ethic to make it happen, no matter the personal cost—assuming the reward moves them closer to their definition of success.
And speaking of that definition, an Achiever’s definition of success, as a default, is whatever their family, culture, or society defines it as. Growth for this type looks like reevaluating that definition to match their personal desires rather than their desire to impress and seek external recognition.
It’s rare for me to meet a Three who does not exhibit classic workaholic tendencies. Maybe they aren’t a workaholic now, thanks to Enneagram work or other therapeutic practices, but they definitely used to be. Other types can certainly fall into workaholism, if that’s what they believe will soothe their core fear or fulfill their core desire (for instance, if a One is raised to equate a relentless work ethic with being good, or an Eight is raised to believe that resting shows weakness), but it’s almost a given with Threes. And because of that, their lack of motivation can often show no outward signs.
One of the Achiever’s favorite responses to being maxed out and running on fumes is to take on more projects. Their ability to look good at the cost of feeling good can take them far in the realm of external validation. So far, in fact, that they can completely self-alienate from their personal wants. Ask an average-health three what they want, and their first response will be to tell you what you or society at large wants them to do and be.
But let me tell you, when a Three hits pause (in an intentional way rather than checking out completely due to burnout) and takes the time to decide what they want out of life… PHEW! Watch out! Because they’re going to get it in a spectacular fashion that inspires others to chase their dreams as well.
When I’m working with an Achiever who’s struggling with motivation, it’s usually because they have completely detached from their own wants and dreams. Sure, they haven’t let a little thing like zero internal motivation stop them from writing 15 books in the last year, but they’ve ceased being a human being and become a full-fledged human doing. They’re living on autopilot, following the assembly directions of a “successful career” and wondering when the feeling of being valuable is supposed to kick in.
This is when moving the goal posts becomes the only way to carry on. The subconscious fear is that if they stop to consider their accomplishments, they might find that—whoops!—those particular accomplishments don’t give them the thing they were seeking, which is a genuine sense of worth. As long as they never reach the goal posts, though, they will avoid facing that question, and they can let a fear of lack drive them onward. You’re not valuable yet, but maybe soon. Maybe after ten more books. Maybe after $100k more. Maybe after three speaking gigs. Maybe after making a bestseller list. Maybe after hitting number one on the charts. Maybe after outselling Stephen King…
It makes me so sad to see a Three caught in this never-ending race, because Threes are inherently valuable (as all people are), and nothing could change that, let alone a few missed deadlines or second place instead of first in their 6th grade spelling bee (or whatever might still be haunting you Threes from childhood).
Their hard work and determination is impressive. To see them put it behind a project they don’t truly care about that they’re only doing for the sake of external validation rather than one they’re deeply passionate about is a real tragedy, though.
Each of the nine types of the Enneagram has nine Levels of Development within it. Three are considered healthy, three are average, and three are unhealthy. We move through these levels at various moments of our lives, but we usually have an anchor point or baseline that’s our default. As we unlock some of the unconscious patterns associated with our type, our anchor point can move slowly upward toward healthier levels.
Below are descriptions of a Three in the three categories of development (healthy, average, unhealthy):
Healthy: In touch with their heart and authentically themselves, inner-directed, self-assured and benevolent, motivating and inspirational, highly effective and efficient.
Average: Overly concerned with performance, bases self-worth on accomplishments, competitive and compares oneself to others, salesy and disingenuous, image-conscious social chameleon, narcissistic and attention seeking.
Unhealthy: Exploitative and opportunistic, cutthroat desire to feel superior, vindictive with a desire to destroy others for a more favorable comparison, sometimes exhibits psychopathic behavior.
If you’re not a Three, you’re now thinking of someone you know who is. Or maybe even a character. As you can see, Threes can make great heroes or villains in your books, depending on what development level they most often inhabit.
Okay, so how do you use this information to motivate yourself as a writer?
The trick is simple: You need to decide what books you want to write. Threes are notorious for trend-hopping, and y’all are quite good at it. You can make bank doing it. But you can make bank in any genre if you stick with it, so why not start by asking what kind of stories you’d like to write first and foremost? I have no doubt you’ll find a way to make the money you need from it. (And you’ll need to make exactly $0 before you’ll be happy, rather than $NeverEnough.)
Write stories for the young Achievers who need to know their value doesn’t depend on their parents’ approval or their good grades. Write stories of inspiring figures who persevere and find a way against all odds. Write the kind of stories that make you glow.
There’s a huge trap waiting for every American Three, and that’s this: the US’s Enneagram type is a Three. That’s right, countries can have types. But the US isn’t always a healthy Three. It's virtually indifferent about health, so long as people are working, working, working. Our early Puritanical beliefs have combined with our flourishing Capitalist economy in this way, and if you grew up in America believing in the American Dream, you received messages that your worth was a product of what you could produce through a relentless work ethic.
All types received this message, but because of the way Threes are already wired for that messaging, they feel it acutely. And they’re rewarded like crazy for it. But like I said, that ethos doesn’t care about how your soul ends up. It only cares about production. And Achievers, as attached to external validation as they are, don’t receive any additional praise if they also enjoy their work. There’s no external benefit for that important bit.
Every type has a wake-up call associated with it to tell us we’re plummeting down the development levels and it’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and reevaluate some of the premises we’re working from. For the Three, the red flag is performing. This is best described as autopilot, or doing without feeling. The Achiever has disconnected from their authentic self and is acting entirely on what they believe others want.
I’ve heard Threes describe this as feeling like they’re perpetually at a job interview, even with friends. Everything is self-promotion and selling. Threes, when you notice this feeling start to creep in, it means it’s time to do your least favorite thing and hit the brakes. It doesn’t have to be for long, just long enough for you to recenter yourself, remember your inherent value and that you’ll be a success at anything you put your mind to, so you should be the one who decides what that is rather than deferring to others.
It's important for Achiever authors to learn the difference between wanting to write a book and wanting to have written a book. If you just want to have written a book so you can add it to your resume, then hire a ghost writer and get them to sign an NDA. Then claim the book or series as your own. Who cares, right?
When you stop to consider it, though, really dig down deep to that child who dreamed of being a writer, I reckon you’ll reconnect with the part of yourself that wants to write. It gave you something you couldn’t get other places. It reminded you that you had an endless well of value and authentic nature inside you that you wanted to share with the world.
Otherwise, why not go into finance or something with more possibility of external validation?
So if you’re struggling to put the words down or you’re still meeting your daily word count but feeling uninspired by the stories, see if any of these are running on loop in your head:
“Is this what the readers want?”
“Could I be making more money writing [hot genre]?”
“Get through this book and two more, and then you can write something you enjoy.”
“I just want this to be done.”
“Who do these people think they are trying to outsell me?”
“Will people make fun of me for this book?”
“Is this story too sappy?”
“Did I do all the tropes right?”
“Does this follow the formula exactly?”
“It doesn’t matter if this scene makes sense. My readers won’t care.”
The above statements show an emotional disconnect from the deeper purpose of storytelling as well as a contempt for the people you’re so desperate to impress. It’s sort of hard to let the emotions flow into your characters when you’re not even acknowledging them in yourself.
Drawing conscious thought to our subconscious scripts is like drawing blood to an injury to help it heal. And that’s how we begin to break these cycles that hold us prisoner so we can move to healthier development levels of our type.
It’s also how we keep ourselves motivated and connected to the work when we’re Achievers.
So, if you’re a Three who’s struggling with motivation:
Keep asking what you want to write until you come up with an answer, then write that.
Learn to create bite-size benchmarks, and when you hit them, celebrate. Do it! You’ll feel instantly more successful!
Stop moving the goal posts. This is not the only way to motivate yourself, even if it’s the only way you’ve ever known. As you become more inner-directed with a clear vision of your dreams, every day will feel worthy of recognition.
Learn to spot when you’re in job-interview mode. You are not a product to be pitched. Instead, take a step back and remember that people are lucky to be around you, and if you have to sell them hard on you, they’re not in alignment with your dreams.
There is such a thing as healthy competition, but it runs the risk of misaligning your dreams for the sake of winning the competition. If you find yourself feeling bitter toward your competition, that’s a sure sign that it’s time to remind yourself of your inherent value independent of what others bring to the table.
Build honest and trusting relationships with other authors who aren’t afraid to call you out when you’re slipping down the health levels. When you’re disconnected from yourself, you’re not in a great position to realize it.
Learn to rest. This doesn’t necessarily mean staying in bed all day or lying on a beach. This can be a hard workout, learning a new language or instrument, joining an improv troupe. Your “rest” might look like other people’s “active,” but that’s okay. The point is to hit pause on your publishing brain.
Next week, we’ll discuss how to find you writing motivation if you’re a Type 4, the Individualist. This is the type of Anne Rice, Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Shirley, and Luna Lovegood.
If you don’t want to miss any installments of this series on motivation, be sure to whitelist contact@ffs.media by adding me as a contact. And if you know of someone who might enjoy this series (alternate motive: you’ll have someone to discuss it with), they can sign up to my list and skip the onboarding sequence by going to www.ffs.media/readnow.
I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this type. Maybe you just realized this describes you and you feel slightly attacked but equally seen. Maybe your spouse or parent or sibling is a Three and suddenly everything makes sense. I live for these insights, so send them my way. And if you have remaining questions, I’ll take those, too.